i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ππΌ
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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