Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
