Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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