my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
