His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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