You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
