From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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