I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
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Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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