remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My vagina just recognized that song.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
