do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
