Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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