Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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