yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
