I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize