wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
