make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
