when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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