This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
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That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
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Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?