anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
