So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
