you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
