i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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