Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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