i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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