this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
