Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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