dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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