; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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