can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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