HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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