Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
