yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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