As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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