No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
