I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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