Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
