from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
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I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
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Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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