what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
