Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hippo gnu deer
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
