Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
