did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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