We're facebook friends in real life
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
