Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
