I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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