Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
