There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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