Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize