Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize