His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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