Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website