Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
are you so shy because you have an std?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize