I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have post one night stand depression
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