Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize