if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize