She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
