3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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