Whod you bang
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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