Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
