just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter