Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?