i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
they're like a gay fantastic four
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
