it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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