nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Randomize
