Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
