Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize